Effortless
by portsidedocking
Summary: Emily and Hanna are the best of friends. Hanna is confused about her feelings for Emily. But when tragedy strikes, will Hanna be able to figure out her feelings? Or will they be torn apart? Eventual Hannily.
1. Chapter 1

"I can't believe it's her," Hanna thought as she slowly moved around the yearbook room, toward Emily.

Emily. Wow, she was amazing, but in a different way. She said lots with words, but what intrigued Hanna was what she said with her eyes and hands. Hanna reasoned that her infatuation with Emily was completely normal-she was just Emily, right? But she was so much more. She and Hanna understood each other in a way that the other girls didn't. They had a connection somehow. It confused Hanna as much as Emily intrigued her. Which is a great deal. But Hanna didn't care. As long as her and Emily were friends, she didn't mind the confusing feelings inside her.

"Hey Em…why aren't you at swim practice? Is everything alright?" Hanna said as she slowly approached Emily. Emily was busy taking in the room and didn't hear what Hanna had said. Piles upon piles of pictures, rolls of tape, baskets of scissors, and tablet computers were strewn haphazardly around the room. Emily had never stepped foot inside the yearbook room before-honestly, she had trouble finding it in the first place.

"Hey Han, sorry, what did you say?" Emily said after she realized she was accidently ignoring her friend.

"I just asked why you weren't at swim practice, that's all." Hanna said as she smiled, watching Emily take in the room in awe.

"Hanna, you know I can't practice. I hurt my shoulder, remember now?" Emily said as she pointed to her injured arm.

"Well you've been going to practice every day, so I just figured coach was having you swim anyway…" Hanna reasoned, shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah, Coach told me I could leave early and I was waiting for my mom and saw your car, so I decided to drop by." Emily said as Hanna led her back to the table she was working at. Emily had never seen this side of Hanna; the concentration the blonde put into the yearbook as she poured over the pictures she had and tried to fit them into the layout.

"Oh, dealing with the senior page?" Emily said, trying ever so gently to pry Hanna's eyes off the page and back to her. Hanna looked up, smiling. She liked having Emily there, watching her work. She nodded, and then turned back to what she was doing.

That's when Hanna realized that Emily was watching her work. Standing at her workstation. That happened to have it's own pile of pictures of them. Hanna had picked all those pictures out of the main photo pile and kept them at her station, so that she was the only one that could use them. She didn't want any bad pictures of her and Em in the book. Besides, if the pictures weren't used, she could keep them. So she kept them at her workstation, which was rarely visited by the other yearbook staff. Except now, the worse possible situation had befallen her. Sure, it would be kinda weird if someone from the staff discovered her stash, but that she could easily cover that up with a lie. But now Emily, the very reason she picked out the pictures, was standing right next to the pile. Hanna's eyes flashed from Emily to the pile.

"Em!" Hanna screeched, causing Emily to jump, "Can you go over and get me that tape? Mine ran out. I'm almost ready to leave- tell your mom I'll take you home, she doesn't need to come all the way here." Hanna said as she gave Emily a half-smile. Emily went to get the tape and to call her mom, and Hanna began to pick up her things. She hid the stack of pictures underneath some papers and stood up with their bags hug over her shoulder.

"Han…I thought you needed tape. Why did you send me for the tape if you didn't actually need it?" Emily questioned after seeing Hanna standing with their things.

"For tomorrow! I will need tape tomorrow when I come back, remember?" Hanna teased. Emily rolled her eyes and set the tape down on the table.

"Come on now!" Hanna grinned as she held their book bags.

"Hanna, let me have my bag. It's heavy and I can carry it."

"Emily Fields, I'm pretty sure I can carry two backpacks. Even if yours seems to contain every textbook known to man inside." Hanna joked as Emily grabbed for her bag and Hanna held it out of her reach.

"Fine," Emily said as she placed her hands on Hanna's hips, guiding her though the tables aligned in tight rows.

When they got to the door Emily hoped in front of Hanna, opening the door for her. As they walked down the hall towards the back parking lot where Hanna had parked, they heard someone yell "Emily!"

They both turned, Emily's face lighting up instantly while Hanna's face darkened in reaction to whom they saw; Paige.

* * *

It's not that Hanna has a problem with Paige, because she didn't. Paige is a good person and she is on the swim team with Emily. But the bigger problem was that Paige liked Emily. Romantically. Which was not okay. The possibility of Emily liking her back made her blood boil. It didn't upset her that Emily liked girls; it upset Hanna because Emily and Paige didn't work together. Emily always acted nervous around Paige, and Hanna knew that it was just nerves because Emily liked Paige or whatever, but Hanna thought it should be effortless. Less about constantly trying to live up to the expectations the other person had and more about just being yourself.

Emily and Paige had begun talking while Hanna was lost in thought. Hanna cleared her throat and said, "Hey Paige, it's good to see you." Hanna turned to Emily and said, "I really hate to interrupt but we've got to go, I have to pick up something at the store for my mom."

After hearing this, Paige said, "Well I could always take Emily home you know, if you have to go Hanna." Hanna gulped. Paige was great and all, but she was making it very difficult not to get angry with her. She knew Paige was sincere, but if Hanna had a say Hanna was taking Emily home, not Paige.

Emily smiled at Paige and thanked her for the offer, saying, "That's alright Paige, I need to go with Hanna though. She needs my help at the store. I'll see you tomorrow?" Emily asked as she smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. Paige nodded and they bid their farewells as they went their separate ways.

When Hanna and Emily had left the school parking lot Hanna broke the comfortable silence that had settled on the car and asked, "So you like Paige?" watching for Emily's reaction.

"She's sweet," Emily beamed, "and we both swim, so that's one of the many thing's we have in common. I'm not sure I could see us together though. She's not unexpected. I want unexpected and effortless. That's how Maya was and I loved that about her." She said as she watched the trees go by. Upon hearing Emily's confession, Hanna reached over for Emily's hand. Before she could though, she heard her phone vibrate in her pocket.

She pulled out her phone with the other hand, taking both hands off the steering wheel. The text she received read, "I bet you'll never forget that confession, right? Let's test that. –A" Hanna looked at the text, confused. Emily screamed next to her and Hanna looked up just in time to notice a car careening towards them. She jumped over the middle glove compartment, shielding Emily. The last thing Hanna saw was Emily's deep brown eyes staring deeply into hers, looking for anything to hold onto as the cars made impact.


	2. Chapter 2

"Spencer, Aria, there's been an accident," Spencer's mom said calmly as the two girls gathered in Spencer's kitchen. "I'm very sorry to tell you that Hanna and Emily have been in an accident. They are at the hospital right now, in the Intensive Care Unit. I have to go down to the police department to take care of some things- their mothers have asked me to represent the girls in court," she explained before taking a long sip of coffee.

"What happened mom?" Spencer whispered, gripping Aria's arm and pulling her close. She knew automobile crashes were nothing to joke about, but her friends being in the ICU is what really scared her. Rosewood Regional Hospital only put the most serious cases in the intensive care unit.

"Well, Hanna was driving her and Emily to the store after school," Mrs. Hastings paused, "and the driver coming the other way swerved into their lane. The other driver had fallen asleep at the wheel. The police say that Hanna began to apply the break, but it did little to lessen the impact. Both girls were wearing their seatbelts. The other driver is completely at fault." Mrs. Hastings said as she walked around the kitchen, picking up her briefcase and coat. This December had been especially cold. She sighed as she got closer to the door, stopped, turned around and looked at the girls. "Unfortunately," she said slowly, "you can't see them. They are both in critical condition. I just wanted you girls to know." With that she gave a small wave and said goodbye.

Spencer and Aria sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

"I don't know what to say," Aria said, breaking the silence that had settled over them like an airtight seal, keeping out any oxygen.

"Do you think it could be –A?" Spencer posed, gauging Aria's reaction.

"It could always be –A," Aria said as she climbed the stairs back to Spencer's room. "-A could have drugged the other driver. –A could have created a diversion, allowing for Em and Hanna to be on that road at the exact time." Aria wondered aloud.

"They could be permanently injured Aria. This could change everything. The Intensive Care Unit is nothing to joke around about. The Intensive Care Unit isn't where you go to rest- it's where you go to stay alive." Spencer said in a rush of words as tears began to silently fall down her face. "We can't do this without them. –A has never tried this before. Something of this magnitude." She whispered as Aria crossed the room to comfort her. "What if they-"

"Don't say that." Aria cut her off, slowly sinking down next to Spencer and throwing a blanket over them. "They are going to be okay Spence, they are strong," Aria said as she looked out the window and watched snow start to fall from the grey sky, "They will pull through Spence. They are fighters. They will be okay. They will be okay. They have to be."

* * *

The next thing Hanna saw was the bright sterile light of the emergency room. Her head was spinning and her chest felt as if something was crushing it.

She opened her mouth to call out to anyone that could help her- she needed to find Emily. She didn't know what she would do with herself if Emily were injured. Hanna knew it was all her fault. If she hadn't been greedy with Emily's love. If she hadn't reached over to grab Emily's hand in triumph because she though she could be with her. At that moment in the car, with the trees rushing past and Emily smiling at her and confessing her want for effortless spontaneous love, Hanna knew that she loved her. She knew that she could give Emily that. But now, lying in the hospital, Hanna realized what her delusional moment had cost them- their health, and possibly their lives. Not to mention Hanna's car. If Hanna hadn't tried to grab Emily's hand, there wouldn't have been an accident. There wouldn't have been that cryptic –A message. Hanna knew that the crash was only a sign from the universe- her and Em would never be together, and now it was going to stay that way.

Hanna opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Just gasps of air. There were no nurses around her- she was lying strapped to a table by herself. She couldn't move her neck-she had a neck brace strapped securely to her head. But she could hear. Once she heard what was going on around her, she instantly wished she could stop the noise and block out what the doctors were shouting. A nurse rushed by with an oxygen tank, another with a crash cart. Then she heard the countdown- 3,2,1…CLEAR. She heard it again. It pounded in her ears.

**3**

"If that's Emily over there please let her be o.k. Please let her be alive." Hanna thought.

**2**

"Emily, breathe!" Emily pleaded internally, "Please breathe. Breathe for me. Please Emily. Please."

**1**

"I can't do this without her," Hanna realized. She began sweating, her heart rate accelerated. She remembered Emily in that last moment. Her eyes frantically looking into Hanna's, searching for an answer. Hanna could feel Emily's hand gripping hers for dear life, clinging to her no matter how far they were about to be thrown or what was about to happen. Hanna could hear her screams as the cars made impact. Then silence.

**Clear!**

The last thing Hanna could conjure was the fact that she would always love Emily. No matter the circumstances. Then everything went black.

Confusion hit Hanna like a train. She had woken up in a panic- sweat was running down her forehead and she couldn't move- she was secured down for transfer. The sound of a helicopter droned on above her. Her head was pounding. She looked up and saw the pale grey sky look down upon her. It began to snow. She tried to turn her head- she couldn't. She had a neck brace wrapped securely around her. She could hear shouts from all around her. Suddenly she was lifted into the helicopter. The door shut with a bang and the on-board nurses sat next to her, holding her in place. One of the nurses noticed she was awake. Hanna looked at her with pleading eyes, needing answers.

"You suffered a bad skull injury," the nurse yelled over the sound of the aircraft taking off. "You are being transferred. Your family has been contacted. Rosewood Regional can't complete your surgery. You're going to New York. We will be there soon. Get some rest." Those were the last words Hanna heard before she dozed off.

* * *

"Ms. Fields? Ms. Fields. Please pay attention." The doctor said as he tried to give Emily and her mom discharge instructions. Emily had stayed four days in the hospital. She had fractured her leg, fractured 4 ribs, and severely bruised her shoulder. She called for a nurse, sitting up and pulling the wheelchair closer. That's when she realized her mom was there, asleep in the side chair. At the sound of Emily's movement, Mrs. Fields awoke. She informed Emily that Hanna had been transferred, and that Emily was being discharged from the hospital.

She waited for the doctor to discharge her and looked out the window. It was snowing in Rosewood today. The majority of the roads were closed, and the local train station had stopped running in preparation of the blizzard that was forecasted to hit later that evening.

She wasn't really listening to what the doctor was saying, but one thing he said did stick in her mind. He said to Mrs. Fields in a low whisper, "Be thankful, if the other girl wouldn't have shielded Emily from the impact, Emily could be in much worse condition."

Emily had been informed that the helicopter Hanna had been transferred on was the last aircraft allowed out of Rosewood due to the incoming storm. So Emily sat and watched the snow begin to fall, trapping her in Rosewood.

* * *

"Hanna?" Mrs. Marin said as she held Hanna's hand, "Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?"

"Mom? What are we doing here?"

"You were in an accident and suffered some cranial damage. But we are here in New York now and a specialist worked on your head. You're going to make a full recovery."

"Where is Dad? Did he stay home? Did he have to work?"

"Hanna, sorry to interrupt, but I'm Dr. Spade and I need to do a post-op check up. Do you mind answering a few questions for me?"

"Ok."

"Who do you live with?"

"My mom."

"Very good. Who are you currently dating?"

Ashley Marin waited patiently for Hanna's answer. She watched as Hanna took a few seconds to answer.

"I don't know, I can't remember."

"Okay, don't worry," Dr. Spade assured with a smile.

"Who would you consider your best friends at school?"

"Um…I can't remember," Hanna said, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to concentrate.

"Do you know what date it is?"

"No."

"Do you know what month it is?"

"No, I can't remember."

"Do you remember the accident?"

"No." Hanna whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I can't remember."

The doctor pulled Ashley out into the hallway.

"Sometimes," Dr. Spade explained, "the memory comes back over time. Sometimes surgery can cause the brain to loose certain bits of memory temporarily."

"But what about my daughter? The daughter that left my house the other morning with one shoe on and her bag haphazardly thrown over her shoulder?" Ashley asked, frantically raising her voice in panic.

Dr. Spade sighed. "It's possible she is still in there. But it is also possible she is gone. I am sorry Mrs. Marin. It's only a matter of time. You need to take Hanna home and make her comfortable. Give her time to rest. She is confused and with rest, she should slowly begin to recover."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all so much for the favorites, follows, and reviews! I hope you are loving this story as much as I am. -PSD xx**

* * *

"I can't believe it." Emily said as they hung up with Mrs. Marin. "She doesn't remember us. She doesn't remember anything. Does that mean she doesn't remember –A? Or that Alison is dead?" Emily asked as she picked her nails, watching the snow fall outside the window.

"Well, for starters, Mrs. Marin said that the doctor diagnosed Hanna as not loosing her complete memory. Just bits and pieces of both her short and long term memory complexes." Spencer answered, scrolling through web pages related to memory loss and recovery. "Besides, the doctor said he expected Hanna to make a full recovery. And Mrs. Marin did say they were on the train home. It's only a matter of time until she remembers us Em."

"Are you not worried Spence? What if Hanna never remembers? What if she never recovers?" Emily said, shooting a glare at Spencer.

"Listen Em," Spencer said with a sigh, "We can't do anything right now. We can't do anything to change it. So we just have to wait until she gets home. Hanna's mom sounded optimistic, and she said that Hanna was beginning to remember some things, like how to make pasta and turn on the oven range." Spencer said with wide eyes. She continued, saying; "The human mind is a complex system that is often sporadic and is almost never fully understood."

After that, they sat in silence. The snow began to fall harder and the wind picked up. They both pondered over what Hanna would remember about them. They wondered what it would be like seeing Hanna for the first time. How do you reintroduce yourself to one of your best friends?

* * *

"So tomorrow is the day," Spencer said to Emily, who was being awfully quiet on the other line. "We get to see her tomorrow Em. Aren't you excited?"

"I don't know if I'll go Spence." Emily answered. "Right now I haven't fully faced the truth that she doesn't remember me. And I'm not sure I'm ready to stand face to face with her and introduce myself all over again like day one of Kindergarten."

"You have to go Emily. You were always closest to Hanna. Besides, Mrs. Marin said on the phone that she kept asking about the tall girl. That's you!"

"Yeah I know Spence, I know. I'm just scared. What if it's not the same Hanna?"

"Well you'll never know until you go and find out."

"Spencer I really don't think we should split up. We are all her best friends- you, Aria and me. We are all really important to her life. We should all meet at the same time." Emily reasoned.

"We don't want to bombard her Emily. You go tomorrow and Aria and I will go the day after tomorrow. Alright?" Spencer insisted.

"Alright. I'll let you know how it goes. Bye Spencer." Emily said, letting go a breath she didn't know she was holding. She suddenly began to feel nervous and anxious. She couldn't tell if she couldn't wait for tomorrow to come or never wanted tomorrow to come. She flipped off her side lamp and laid down in bed, uncertain of what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

"Alright well my number is on the counter and you know where all the food is. I promise I will be right back, I just have to run to the store and to work to pick up some papers." Hanna could hear her mom speaking to someone downstairs. Hanna had previously been asleep, up until the wind slammed the door shut and rattled the house. The first few days of being home had been interesting for sure. Hanna was beginning to remember where things were, and automatically remembered where her room was- 2nd floor, 2nd door on the left. She hadn't forgotten everything- much to her mother's dismay she boiled water the first day home for some pasta. It was the people she couldn't remember.

Hanna heard her mother's keys jingle in the front door and heard the door lock. Silence enveloped the house. Hanna held her breath. She didn't want to go down stairs and awkwardly confront the person standing in her home. What would she say? "Hey hi nice to see you, except its not because I have no idea who you are." She didn't think so. Hanna stood silently at her door, waiting for the person down stairs to make a move. Then she heard it. The footsteps- the person had a slight limp- did a slow circle around the kitchen island, and then headed toward the stairs. Hanna wobbled back to bed, making it just in time to put the covers on and feign sleep before her "babysitter" was able to make it to the top step. The person very quietly inched towards her room, and lifted up on the door handle just right while opening it so the door wouldn't make a squeak. Hanna knew that trick with the door was something that was definitely not common knowledge, so she knew this person wasn't supposed to be a stranger.

The stranger walked into the room and slowly sat on Hanna's bed. Hanna's previous reservations about this person slowly disappeared. She felt calm as the stranger rested their back on her headboard and began rub circles into her arm, as if deeply lost in thought.

Hanna knew this action from somewhere. It tugged at her in a weird way- it wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't completely foreign either. It made her smile. She wanted to turn around and see who was doing this, but instead she waited a little longer just so that the person wouldn't stop. They rubbed circles all up and down her arm, each time the fingers reached Hanna's shoulder she could feel the person beside her watching her face.

Hanna turned to face them silently, faking a yawn and "waking up."

Beside Hanna sat one of the down right cutest girls she had ever seen. The girl was clearly lost in thought and had on a dark knit sweater with dark jeans and these cute pink socks, with one leg casted with black wrapping. Her hair flowed down her shoulders and fell just above her stomach. She had one arm-with a cast-draped above Hanna's head, and the other was resting on Hanna's arm. The girl suddenly snapped out of her daydream and looked down to see Hanna looking right back at her.

"Hey!" Hanna said coolly, trying to defray the tension in the room.

"Hi Hanna…" the brunette said with a smile, unsure of what to say after that. Hanna noticed that the girl had one of those smiles that stretched to her eyes. Those were Hanna's favorite smiles.

"Hey…" Hanna said nervously, "Sorry, but after the whole accident I kind of forgot everyone's names so if you could just give me a quick hint…"

"Emily. I'm Emily." The girl said with a small smile, looking down at her hands.

"Emily! Right! That's you and I right there, correct?" Hanna said, pointing to a framed picture of them on her desk.

"Yep," Emily said as she rose and shuffled over to the desk, "that's us. After my swim meet last year. I PR-ed at that meet. Secured the anchor spot on the relay. That was one of the first meets you came to. I could hear you screaming in the bleachers clear from the pool deck." Emily quietly said to herself, holding the picture and looking at it closely.

"What about that picture of us?" Hanna said from right beside Emily. Emily had been so lost in thought she didn't realize that Hanna had gotten up and was standing beside her. Emily noticed how close they were standing- it was almost if she was just retelling old memories, not trying to rebuild her best friend's.

"This one?" Emily said, smiling and picking up the picture Hanna had pointed at. "This one was taken by your mom as a joke. After you set the microwave on fire she wouldn't let you cook. But one day, I think about a year ago, you decided that you wanted to show me your secret recipe for hot cocoa. She took a picture to commemorate your first cooking experience since you tried to burn the house down."

"That's funny," Hanna said smiling at Emily.

"Let's go for a walk!" Hanna said suddenly.

"Like outside?" Emily questioned, "Hanna it's snowing. And you and I aren't in the best shape incase you forgot…"Emily said, gesturing down at their leg casts.

"Come on Em, we will be fine. We can go down to that park or the mall or something. I'm sick of being inside." Hanna said moving away from Emily and towards her closet to pick out an outfit.

"Where did you hear that?" Emily asked, staring right at Hanna.

"What?" Hanna answered absentmindedly while trying to find an outfit she liked, finally deciding on jeans and a plain sweater. "Goodness, I don't know what fashion sense I used to have, but it needs to go." Hanna gestured towards the closet saying, "You're going to help me Em. There is no way I will be able to do this by myself and to be honest we need to get to the mall-"

"Hanna!" Emily firmly said, interrupting Hanna mid-sentence. "Where did you hear that?"

"What? The nickname Em? It makes sense. And it's cute. It suits you." Hanna answered, throwing Emily a devilish smile while she looked for a scarf.

* * *

"See? It's not snowing!" Hanna smiled and said while they walked down the sidewalk slowly.

"Hanna, we look like a train wreck!" Emily giggled, holding tight to the blonde so she would stay upright.

After they made their way to the park and brushed snow off a bench they sat down in content silence for awhile. Hanna noticed Emily had forgotten her gloves, so she grabbed Emily's hands and held them in her own to keep them warm.

"Em?"

"Yeah Han?" Emily responded. For a few seconds it was almost like they had slipped back into normality. Like everything was okay.

Hanna looked down at her hands. "I'm trying as hard as I can to remember. I really am. I don't want to forget any of you. Honestly. I feel so helpless and lost and the other day a girl waved to me in the supermarket with my mom and I must have looked like a deer in the headlights because I have no idea who it was!" Letting out a little laugh, Hanna wiped a tear off her face.

"Hanna?" Emily quietly asked.

"Yeah what's wrong?"

"Why do you trust me?" Emily said slowly, measuring each word.

"It feels right." Hanna said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. "When I first got back," Hanna continued, "I saw all the pictures of the four of us in my room. And I thought long and hard about who I wanted to see first. But I looked at all the pictures and I saw how happy you and I were together. And then I found the letter you wrote me." Hanna said, taking a breath.

"She kept that thing?" Emily thought. Emily remembered writing that letter to Hanna- she wrote it to thank her for being so accepting of Emily and Maya and always being supportive of her.

"And I read it," Hanna's voice cracked, "And I became so jealous. So jealous of the friendship we had. How unfair is that, that out of everything I forget those memories had to go. I am so jealous of my pervious self. So jealous. And I knew I had to get that back," Hanna said, tears streaming down her face. She watched Emily look out at the birds in the field, then she silently wiped away Hanna's and her own tears. Hanna continued, "And it won't be perfect. I don't know if it can ever go back to the way it was. I don't feel like the person I used to be. I look around at these clothes and my lifestyle and it's all very confusing because none of that appeals to my current self."

At that Emily's heart dropped. This was it, Emily thought to herself. "She has dragged me all the way out to this damn park to tell me we can't be friends anymore." Emily thought. All at once the tears began to fall, she couldn't control them any longer. Hanna was her best friend. And now the girl sitting in front of her is saying she's a new version of Hanna and is about to tell Emily to get lost.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Hanna said, lifting Emily's chin and dabbing at Emily's tears. "Hey, I'm not done with my speech yet," Hanna tried to tell Emily, looking right into Emily's eyes. "I trust you Emily because I know you will be my friend though thick and thin. I know you will keep me in line but consider every request I make. And I know that I need you. Not just now, but for a long time. Things just might be…different this time around." Hanna said with a small smile. "Okay?"

"I could never let you go Hanna. You mean so much to me, then and now. I'm not going anywhere. You're the best friend I could ever ask for." Emily said hugging Hanna.

"Okay, let's get to the mall then, because the wardrobe will not be redoing itself." Hanna said as she took Emily's hand and began to pull her though the snow.

"Hanna, one last thing. Where did all that emotion come from?" Emily asked with wonder. She had never heard that type of emotional outpour from Hanna.

"Well, old Hanna kept a pretty detailed diary. Besides, what purpose do feelings serve if you just keep them bottled up inside?" Hanna shrugged and began walking. After a few steps she turned around to check on Emily, she didn't hear her behind her. "What?" Hanna said with a smile after seeing Emily looking at her with a big smile and her arms crossed.

"You are truly full of surprises, aren't you Hanna Marin?" Emily mused, catching up to Hanna.

While they were walking, Hanna off-handedly asked; "Oh yeah, and I was meaning to ask you. Do I have a secret admirer? Because someone signed -A sent me get well soon flowers!"

* * *

**Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! I will update soon, I promise! -PSD xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and follows! -PSD xx**

* * *

"Hanna? Hanna please pay attention," Emily begged as she tried yet again to recapture Hanna's attention. Emily had called Spencer and Aria and they had all met at the mall. After a short round of introductions, they began following Hanna around and asking constant questions about –A's gift.

"Sorry Em! It's kinda hard to keep up when you three are talking about multiple things I don't know. Why does it matter? Can we just talk about it later?" Hanna begged, giving Emily puppy dog eyes.

Emily looked at Spencer and Aria, both who had their eyes wide and were looking at Emily.

"She makes a good point…" Emily said slowly.

"The –A problem is a big problem Emily, not just one that you can save for after dinner coffee conversation." Aria spat, clearly agitated by this conversation.

Hanna heard what Aria had said and before anyone could respond she stuck her head into the group and said, "There really is no need for that tone, honestly. Emily was just posing a possibility to delay the conversation, seeing as that it's a big deal and we are in the middle of the mall, trying to enjoy ourselves. If you're going to get mad at anyone, get mad at me." Hanna said to Aria with a smile.

Spencer and Emily's eyes flew open. Aria mumbled a "whatever" and stormed out of the store. Hanna smiled and shrugged at them and began to ask their opinion on a pair of pants she was holding.

Spencer watched this Hanna interact with Emily. Emily had texted them "SOS meet at the mall" and then later added "be prepared-Hanna is different." But Spencer thought the term "different" was a tad bit of an understatement. When Spencer and Aria first got to the mall, they saw Hanna and Emily sitting together on the bench inside, nothing new. But as they got closer they saw how different Hanna was acting. How Hanna appeared to be listening quietly while Emily told a story, then laughed with Emily after and asked her to tell another. The Hanna before the accident was a conversationalist. She was constantly talking. But now, it seemed like she didn't want to hear her voice anymore. It seemed like she only wanted to hear Emily's.

Hanna led the way on this shopping trip as usual. But Spencer noticed the peculiar thing was Hanna was passing all the stores she normally shopped at. As they passed the stores, she noticed Emily was saying nothing. Spencer at least expected Emily to be reminding Hanna of where she shopped.

"Hanna?" Spencer said early into the shopping trip; "That's your favorite store we just passed back there. Do you want to go back?" Spencer asked.

"Oh yeah, Em told me what all my favorite stores used to be while we were waiting for you guys." Hanna said, smiling at Spencer. She continued, saying; "I kinda want to reinvent my wardrobe though. I thought it was time for something different." Hanna said. She shrugged and smiled and bumped her hip into Emily's, producing a small smirk from Emily.

* * *

"So Hanna, are you excited for school Monday?" Aria asked, as she happily munched on a pretzel. After she stormed off Emily came and found her and calmed her down. Aria realized that she was just so angry because it wasn't the old Hanna anymore. She really missed her friend.

"Yeah I am actually. I know it will probably be really difficult at first, but I need to start studying if I'm going to get my history grade up. Spencer, Emily told me you were braniac extraordinaire. Do you think you could tutor me sometime soon? If anything my grade indicates I barely knew anything in the first place, so retrieving what I forgot shouldn't be that momentous of a task." Hanna said as she picked at her salad.

Hanna looked up and realized they were all staring at her. Spencer had her mouth wide open.

"Hey is everything all right you guys? I mean Spencer if you are busy it is perfectly fine I already began the book so I'm sure I'll be able to figure out the rest. I just kinda needed the notes I guess as well as past tests, Em said that's really what the remaining tests will be over and I have to ace both of them if I'm going to have any chance at pulling the grade up. Spencer have you started the paper? I guess I picked Anne Frank's diary as historical document I wanted to focus on," she continued; "but that is honestly so overdone. Do you have any suggestions or…?" Hanna said, looking at the girls in front of her.

"Hanna…since when are you interested-" Spencer began, but then stopped after she saw Emily's glare. Emily had pulled both Spencer and Aria aside while they were shopping and told them to just go with it and support this Hanna in what she wanted to do.

"No you know what? That sounds great. Whenever you are available I'll come over to your house and we can study." Spencer said with a smile.

"Awesome, sounds like a plan!" Hanna said, slowly rising.

"Where are you going?" Emily asked, collecting her things to go with Hanna.

"I'm just going over there." Hanna answered, gesturing to nowhere in particular

"Where?" Spencer asked, craning her neck, looking to see where Hanna was pointing.

"It's alright you guys, I don't have dementia! I won't get lost and we won't have to call the police. I'll just be right back. Em, watch my bags for me?" Hanna said, tossing a smile over her shoulder and walking away.

"That's weird," Spencer said as she watched Hanna walk away. "She doesn't look like she has a clue where she is going."

"You know what's weird?" Aria asked. "Her. She is acting so strange. Where would she know the word dementia from? I mean seriously? We just spent almost 2 hours walking around stores I didn't think Hanna knew existed. And then what she said to me." Aria said, shaking her head. "Emily you said she was different, not completely opposite. I mean don't get me wrong, I have no problem with the fact she is so different. Heck, when was the last time she asked you for tutoring Spence? I think it's great." Aria continued; "But she's not Hanna."

"She's Hanna now Aria. Hanna told Emily things were going to be different this time around, and that she needs our support. Try being yourself when everyone thinks you're someone else." Spencer said.

* * *

Hanna walked away from the table, dying for an escape. Spencer and Aria kept looking at her like she was a science experiment, waiting to see what she would do next. Hanna felt they were so caught up on waiting for her to become who she used to be. That's not how Emily was. "Why can't they be more like Em?" Hanna thought as she walked into the sports store.

Hanna felt a hand grab her arm and swing her around.

"Hey Hanna! How are you feeling?" A tall girl with long brown hair asked. "Emily told me about the accident, but her and I haven't talked since you were released." The girl said with a smile.

"So Emily didn't tell you?" Hanna said with a nervous smile.

"What's wrong Hanna?"

"Well I suffered a really bad head injury in the accident, and I forgot a lot, but not everything. But I did forget everyone I know. So…not to be rude, but I literally have no idea who you are." Hanna quietly said.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I had no idea!" The girl stuck out her hand. "I'm Paige. I swim on the swim team with Emily. You and I have a few classes together."

"Hi Paige, it's nice to meet you…again!" Hanna said with a giggle.

"Not to be rude but you do realize you are in the sports store…should I call Emily or…?" Paige said awkwardly, pulling out her phone.

"No no I know where I am." Hanna said, shrugging it off with a laugh. "I just wanted to take a walk, and I ended up in here. They sell like running shoes and stuff in here right?" Hanna asked, looking around at the store.

"Yeah…" Paige said, making a weird face at Hanna.

"I know previous Hanna wasn't into sports, but I mean I figure maybe I'll try something, do you know if I know how to swim?" Hanna asked Paige, who was now clearly confused but answered with a shrug. "Oh my gosh I am holding up your shopping trip! I am so sorry. Can I chill with you for a little bit though? I am just really tired of being stared at like I have three heads." Hanna asked, looking at her hands.

"Yeah, no problem," Paige said, beginning to walk toward the swim section. She turned to Hanna and asked, "So who is giving you a hard time? You know they just don't understand."

"But Emily understands. Why can't Spencer and Aria understand like she does?" Hanna asked.

"Emily is so so different from Spencer and Aria!" Paige said with a laugh, "but you've probably noticed that. Emily has been though things that Spencer and Aria haven't. But that's a question for Emily, not me." Paige said, looking though the goggles.

"Who is Maya?" Hanna asked out of the blue. Paige fumbled the things she was holding, just barely able to catch them before they hit the floor. Hanna took some of the things out of her hand with a smile and asked again.

"That…" Paige said with a smirk, "is definitely a question for Emily."

"For training you should get the red goggles. They are highly visible underwater. Have you considered water polo or soccer? Both of those sports also require high amounts of stamina, like swimming." Hanna said, wandering away from Paige and looking at an earplug display.

Paige stared at Hanna, watching her with awe.

"Oh, well I've got to go." Hanna said, looking at her phone. Hanna went over and grabbed Paige a basket and filled it with Paige's things. Hanna then gave Paige a hug and said; "See you on Monday? I might also have to trouble you for your notes; the C I have in Spanish can't be fixed with the blank notebook I have. See you!" Hanna waved goodbye over her shoulder while Paige waved back, smiling.

* * *

Later that evening after Aria and Spencer had left, Emily and Hanna sat in Hanna's room. Hanna was going though her clothes quietly, checking every now and then on Emily, who was sleeping on her bed. Earlier, Emily, Spencer, and Aria filled Hanna in on what –A was. Hanna was perfectly fine letting them figure it out. She just didn't like how much it worried Emily.

After Hanna was done putting away her clothes she went over and sat on her bed, watching Emily sleep peacefully. Hanna delicately pulled the blanket over Emily and scooted closer to her, rubbing her back. Emily turned towards Hanna and put Hanna's arm under her neck, allowing her to scoot closer and rest her head on Hanna's shoulder. Hanna sighed and smiled.

"Em?" Hanna whispered.

"Yeah Han, whats up?" Emily answered without opening her eyes, snuggling closer to Hanna.

"Who is Maya?" Hanna whispered back, looking into the eyes beside her. "You thanked me for accepting her, but what did she do? Did she do something wrong?"

Emily propped her head up on her hand and took a deep breath.

"Hanna…" Emily started, looking down at the sheets.

"Hey, you can tell me anything Em, I promise." Hanna said, lifting Emily's chin up to look Hanna in the eyes.

"Hanna…I'm gay…I like girls." Emily whispered, looking away.

Hanna watched Emily in this moment. Emily was so vulnerable. She was so scared of what Hanna would think. Hanna pulled Emily's face towards hers, eliciting a small gasp from Emily's throat.

"What is she doing?" Emily thought. Emily's heart sped up. She had never been this close to Hanna's face. Hanna slowly pulled her closer, so that their foreheads were touching. She slowly breathed in an out, trying to steady her heart rate. Hanna felt her fingers catch fire when they caressed Emily's face.

Emily's eyes were trained on Hanna, staring deep into Hanna's soul. Emily smiled and bit her lip.

"Did you forget what you were going to say?" Emily whispered, smiling.

Hanna smiled and closed her eyes, her brain buzzing, trying to find the words to speak.

"Emily Fields." Hanna whispered. "You should never be ashamed of who you are." Hanna said, looking right at Emily. The blonde gently reached out and tucked Emily's hair behind her ear.

Emily slowly wrapped her arm around Hanna's neck and pulled her down. They laid down and Emily nuzzled close to Hanna's neck, wrapping her arms around Hanna. Emily smiled and leaned in close to Hanna's ear and whispered; "I missed you so much. And I loved the old you and I love the new you. You are the best friend in the world. And no matter what happens, I'll always believe in you."

Hanna felt her heart soar. She turned to Emily and watched the brunette fall asleep. Hanna felt a familiar tug at her heart; she knew she had felt it before, but couldn't remember when.


	5. Chapter 5

**So I wrote this and I just had to post it, it breaks my three day cycle of updating but I wanted to know what you all thought!**

**Thank you for all the favorites, comments, and follows, they make my day!**

**You guys are great! (: -PSD xx**

* * *

Hanna knew she had felt it before. The stirring feeling in her stomach when she saw her. The heat that spread to her cheeks when they made eye contact. Her inability to make small talk with her- rather turning it into a ramble about the denaturing of proteins or the war of 1812. To others, Hanna's transformation had been questionable. She found herself explaining herself over and over to everyone- yes, she had forgotten things in the accident. Yes, she had changed after the crash happened. Yes, she did know what she was talking about. Yes, she did know she was wearing a backpack and not carrying a purse. No, she had not left the purse somewhere and forgotten about it.

No one understood her. Except one person- Emily. But that was a problem within itself, and Hanna knew it. Emily lit her on fire. Her presence alone stirred something in Hanna. It caused Hanna to feel multiple things- passion, determination, admiration, and nervousness. Passion, because she knew she would never love anyone more then she loved Emily. Determination, because she felt like she constantly had to be better- for Emily. Admiration, because how could she not admire who Emily was. Nervousness- because she was nothing close to confused about her feelings anymore. She knew what she felt.

Hanna sighed. It was difficult changing even the smallest things about herself without someone taking notice and picking it out, waving it like a flag for all to see. But telling people she was gay? That's a huge step.

All this weight- the weight of change complied with expectations- began to wear her down. And it began to show. Hanna progressively began to show up to school looking less and less put together. She began spending more time alone, studying in her room, trying to fix the meager grades her pervious self had so graciously left her with. Hanna began to wear her glasses instead of her contacts- her eyes were constantly getting tired with the contact lenses in. Hanna struggled to keep up her social agenda on top of it all. When she did hang out with her friends, she would hear whispers heavy with concern about her after they thought she was asleep. Strange habits began to over take her- walking to the library at night and reading until her mother found her and dragged her home.

Hanna's doctors were concerned. The doctors began to request the audience of Ms. Marin behind closed doors, without Hanna. They said she was depressed and "facing an inner crisis". They said she needed therapy- someone needed to pull her out.

Hanna was sent to therapy the following weeks, waiting for a change. She began to feel the weight slipping. Hanna threw herself into physical training, an outlet that had been suggested by the white coat experts during one of her first visits. Her grades were the best they had been since middle school. As exams came upon her, she began to count down the time until she would be free from school. School; the very thing that she used to look forward to, it had her friends and happiness contained within the walls. Now she just wanted to escape.

* * *

Emily was done watching, doing nothing. She had asked Spencer to talk to her repeatedly. Which had done no good. In a span of two weeks Hanna had catapulted herself off the deep end- she began to stray from the group, eating lunch in the library. Hanna had taken to staying silent. Emily hadn't heard her speak in days. Emily watched Hanna leave her house at night, weary and bleary eyed, trying to get to the library so she could read herself to sleep. Emily followed, keeping a low profile and keeping a watch out for her best friend. When Hanna finally fell asleep, Emily would call Ms. Marin so she could unlock the door for Emily when she brought Hanna home, carrying her to the door from her car on her back, so as not to wake her. Emily would sigh and shake her head as she saw Hanna try to avoid people she knew. The brunette began to become seriously concerned when Hanna began wearing her glasses to school, simply explaining that her "eyes were being problematic" with a quick smile and exit.

Emily had spoken with Ms. Marin when she first began to notice Hanna's retreat into herself. Ms. Marin had begun to have Hanna partake in therapy. There were no immediate results.

Emily sighed that night as she rubbed her forehead. Hanna had turned down Emily's offer to sleep over. Exams were over and Emily figured a little one-on-one time with Hanna might cheer her up. Emily now watched her best friend go through her nightly routine of leaving her house and beginning her walk. It was if after that night Hanna had built 50 feet walls around herself and retreated inside. Casual contact from Emily caused Hanna to shy away, as if she had been burned.

Emily decided that tonight she would instead try something different. She took a shortcut ahead and began to roam the library, waiting for Hanna to arrive. She would then say she was simply doing last minute research for a project. Except Hanna didn't show up. Emily began to worry. It shouldn't have taken Hanna long to come the rest of the way to the library. The brunette walked outside and began to walk Hanna's usual trail, rounding the corner and finding the blonde walking the opposite way, towards Emily's house. Emily quickly followed her friend; Hanna began running.

Hanna got to Emily's house and stood for a little while looking at the house. Hanna slowly began to walk forward.

"Oh Emily, you're clever." Hanna began saying while walking towards the house. Emily began to think maybe she was talking to herself.

"You've been watching me slip, and you told Spencer to weave it into our conversations as we studied. You told Aria to bring it up when her and I drove over to the mall the other day." The blonde said with a sly smile; "But not once have you said anything. You've just watched me. You know how confusing that is for me Em? Do you care? Or is it your way of showing you care? By allowing me to fall and not once trying to catch me. So instead I keep falling Emily." The blonde said with her head tilted towards Emily's bedroom window, her crude smile falling from her face. "And to think I trusted you. But I was just blinded by my feelings for you. I love you so freaking much. But yet you can't even ask me what's wrong after I've worn the same rundown expression for two weeks. I mean you have, but not like I want you too."

Emily was listening to the confessions outside her house, watching Hanna's back as she talked, watching her head bob up and down and her hair always settle in the same place. Emily noticed the fog had started to roll in, slowly beginning to consume them both. Hanna quickly put the hood up on her jacket and shivered- the temperature was also beginning to drop.

"And you're so clever because you think you're going to save me. Newsflash Emily Fields, I can't be saved. This is a problem that will never fix itself. But you won't need to worry for much longer, because I'm leaving. For good. So you can get back to your perfect life the way it was before. Before I stumbled into it and messed it all up. Before I came into it and got all jealous about how you smile at everyone like how you smiled at me that night. And how you sleep as close to both Spencer and Aria as you slept to me that night. Before I came into your life expecting to be anything other than one of your best friends." The brunette could barely make out a wicked smile on the other girls lips as Emily gasped, realizing the girl knew she was there the whole time. Emily opened her mouth to say something but she couldn't see where Hanna had gone because the fog was so thick; "But that's my problem Fields, not yours." The blonde said as she walked past Emily towards home.

Emily felt like she had just been hit in the chest. Hanna's confession had been enough to break her- but her smile crushed her. She watched Hanna's retreating figure vanish into the cold dark night. Emily ran after her, but she couldn't find her. She wasn't at the library and Emily wasn't going to risk waking Hanna's mother by banging on the door at 3 AM to see if Hanna was home. She saw Hanna's light go on. And then turn off. Emily could feel her world breaking. She could feel her limbs go cold. She some how managed to get home. How could this have happened? Emily asked herself over and over. She laid in bed and couldn't breathe. She began seizing, gasping for air, trying to call out. Her mom flew into the room, hearing Emily struggle for breath. The last thing Emily saw was a hooded figure standing in her doorway, watching the paramedics take her away.

* * *

"Hey you!" Spencer said, greeting Hanna at the brew Saturday morning with a smile. Hanna smiled down at her hands; she had finally begun to feel better and had caved to taking the medication that was prescribed for her. She filled Spencer in on her successful therapy, sighting that she only refused the medications because of finals and she didn't want them messing with her head. Spencer smiled and hugged Hanna as they left the brew with their coffee to walk around the town.

"Emily has been really worried about you you know." Spencer said breaking their comfortable silence. "She just has a different way of showing it. She gets nervous easily, so she tries to get other people to comfort while she watches from a far while she waits to make her next move." Spencer said with a sigh. "It's just Em."

"Yeah, I always figured that Emily was watching- just not confronting." Hanna said with a smile, happy to feel some of the weight come off of her shoulders, now that she was on Christmas break. Maybe she would even get to spend some time with Emily now, Hanna thought with an excited grin.

Just then, Spencer's phone rang. After Spencer answered, her face slowly became concerned.

"Hanna? Where were you last night?" Spencer said, covering the phone's mouthpiece.

"Oh, well at night I have this habit of walking to the library in order to tire myself out, but last night I got halfway there and realized I didn't need to do that. I turned around and went home." Hanna said with a smile, happy she had finally began to let go of the habit.

"Was your mom awake when you came in?" Spencer asked with a concerned look, still covering the phone.

"Yeah, she was. She was watching TV. I went and watched the rest of the show with her, then we went to bed." Hanna said, slowly recounting last night's events.

"No, she wasn't out." Spencer said, taking Hanna's hand and leading her over to Spencer's car, motioning for her to get in.

"Yes, Aria, I'm sure, she said she was with her mom. You can call her mom, but I believe her," Spencer said as she started driving, annoyed that Aria was second guessing Hanna.

"Okay, see you. Bye." Spencer said as she put down the phone, pulling the car onto the main road.

"Spencer, what's going on?" Hanna asked nervously.

"You didn't leave the house after you went in? Are you absolutely positive?" Spencer said in a very serious tone, watching the road.

"I am positive-the alarm on my house was set and I don't know how to turn it off. My mom normally doesn't put it on because I've taken to leaving, but after I got home she turned it on." Hanna said, remembering her mother yelling up the stairs to not open the window.

"Spencer-" Hanna said as Spencer cut her off.

"Something happened last night with Emily. Someone posed as you and long story short they did not have very nice things to say. At all. Emily had a seizure and is currently in the hospital. She is suffering from post traumatic stress." Spencer said, frowning. She accelerated the car as Hanna sat beside her in disbelief.

* * *

"Why would-" Hanna said as they walked over to Aria in the hospital.

"Someone pose as you? Because they didn't like the attention Emily was giving you." Spencer said in a dead pan voice, looking off into the distance, thinking.

"Spencer what are you thinking?" Aria said, rising from her seat and grasping Spencer's arm to bring her back from her thoughts.

"Here's what I'm thinking. Who resembles Hanna enough for it to be believable? And furthermore, who would be jealous of Emily giving Hanna attention." Spencer said with a menacing laugh, sitting down on a seat, putting her head in her hands.

"She just can't leave us alone, can she?" Spencer said with a defeated look.

"Spence-" Aria started.

"Ali. It's been her all along. She is –A Aria!" Spencer said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"That's the girl that arranged for Emily and I to be hit with the car?" Hanna questioned, puzzled over who was who.

"Oh yes," Spencer said with a devilish grin. "It looks like someone is a little jealous of how much Emily cares about you."


	6. Chapter 6

**There is nothing like a little vacation, right?**

**Alright so in order to bring some sort of structure and organization I have begun to italicize the thoughts of the characters. **

**Thanks for all the comments, favorites, and follows!**

**-PSD xx**

* * *

Emily slowly opened her eyes, looking around the room. She felt a hand in her own, and looking down she saw that Hanna was gripping tight to her hand and had fallen asleep in a chair beside her hospital bed. She smiled. Soon after the girls realized that she had been set up by –A, she quickly forgave Hanna with a hug. A few tears were shed- she could tell Hanna was visibly worried that –A's interference would ruin the close bond they had formed over the past weeks. Now she watched as Hanna slowly awoke with a yawn and stretch. Emily decided to feign sleep, electing to watch Hanna wake up through partly closed eyes.

Hanna stretched and began to mill around, clearly looking for something. Hanna found a pen and made her way around to the heart monitor, writing Emily's current blood pressure and pulse on her hand. As Hanna wrote, Emily slowly noticed that Hanna had multiple times taken down on her hand. Once Hanna was satisfied with her data, she went over to the table and pulled out her laptop, quickly typing the times into a table and then generating a graph.

Emily watched Hanna lean back in her chair and stretch again while she waited for the computer to make the graph. Hanna glanced back to the computer, checking the status of her graph. Hanna put her feet up on the end of Emily's bed and leaned back in her chair, her pink kitten socks standing out in the other monotone room. Hanna began to stare off into space and placed the end of her pen in between her teeth, lost in thought.

_"She's gorgeous." Emily thought silently. Emily always knew Hanna to be pretty; she was always well put together. But it was something about how the watery light came streaming through the hospital windows and landed on Hanna's face, lighting her pink lips and her blue eyes. Ever since Hanna did a major overhaul on her look, she had been wearing little to no make up. To be honest, Emily found her 5 times more attractive now that she wore more casual outfits; she thought that it really allowed for Hanna to be judged by her mind and intellectual complexity rather than just her outfit._

_"She's not just another pretty face anymore." Emily realized. She always believed in Hanna and knew she was so much more. There was nothing about Hanna now that Emily didn't like. That scared Emily so much. How could Emily just let herself fall face first for her best friend? She was being so reckless and she knew it. _

It originally surprised Emily when Hanna came to school wearing her glasses to school. Hanna used to never wear her glasses; she wouldn't be caught dead in public with them on. But now Emily really liked them. They really complimented Hanna's face and made her look super sophisticated. Hanna was wearing a navy blue sweater, much like the one Emily wore when she first saw Hanna after the accident. Hanna was also wearing dark wash jeans and had her hair tied back. Emily found it oddly attractive. She had always thought Hanna looked nice, but the darker color palate looked great against Hanna's fair complexion.

Hanna sat forward in her chair, studying the graph that had been complied. Hanna jotted down a few notes and began to pull her shoes on. She grabbed her coat, scarf, and purse, clearly ready to leave the room. The blonde walked over to her best friend and lightly kissed her cheek, causing Emily to blush at the sweet gesture. Emily could smell Hanna; she smelt like chestnuts and cotton. Hanna walked towards the door, Emily admiring Hanna's retreating figure; her confident stride, ready to take on the world outside the hospital room.

"Em, want a coffee or anything from The Brew? Small coffee with one cream two sugars and a pinch of nutmeg? A scone? I know you aren't asleep and have been watching me this whole time." Hanna said, turning to look at the girl lying in the bed with a smile.

Emily nodded her head, blushing deep red, embarrassed from being caught.

* * *

"Emily?" Hanna whispered in the brunette's ear, trying to wake her up. Emily had been home for a week and Christmas had passed 2 days ago. Hanna decided to surprise Emily with a trip. Hanna had booked a flight and a hotel room- now she just needed Emily to wake up so they could leave. Hanna had snuck into Emily's room to pack her clothes. Hanna sighed and went and told Mrs. Fields that she couldn't get Emily awake. She found Mrs. Fields and her mother downstairs in the kitchen having a cup of coffee. It was till dark outside and Mrs. Marin was driving them to the airport- Hanna had picked the earliest departure time. She wanted to make the most of the few days they had at their destination.

"Come on Hanna let's get her up!" Mrs. Fields said as she passed Hanna, motioning for her to follow.

* * *

After Hanna had told Emily that they were taking a trip, Emily couldn't stop asking where it was.

"You know Em," Hanna responded after Emily asked for the 6th time, "I don't know if you understand the concept of a surprise- it means that you asking me multiple times isn't going to get you any closer to your answer." Hanna said with a smile, bumping Emily's shoulder with her own.

Hanna had picked out the perfect place for them. Niagara on the lakes in Ontario, Canada was the premier spot for a getaway. Hanna had originally booked the getaway for herself, but her mother insisted she take someone with her- not that the secluded place was dangerous; she just thought Hanna shouldn't be alone. The spa Hanna had picked was rated one of the highest reviews within 100 square Kilometers.

Once their hour and five minute flight landed in Buffalo, New York, they would get a car and drive across the border. Hanna was really excited to finally be able to relax and unwind. She felt like being in Rosewood was just draining- she constantly had to be at school or a social event, and if she didn't show up it was automatically assumed she was depressed again. The blonde sighed, leaning back in her seat, thinking about how blissful it will be to just lay around and do a bit of exploring- with Emily.

She couldn't wait to see Emily's face when she realized where they were going. She hoped Emily would like it. It is completely unlike the old Hanna to pick a place that doesn't have at least 3 shopping malls. This place didn't- it only had a cute strip of stores and restaurants, then miles and miles of vineyards.

"Buffalo?" Emily asked as they approached their ticketing counter, her lips spread into a wide grin and she wrapped her arms around Hanna.

"Em, do you even know what's in Buffalo?" Hanna asked Emily with a sideways glance and a smirk, dusting some of the snow off of Emily's coat.

"No! But I bet you're going to show me!" Emily said, bouncing up and down beside Hanna.

"Em. That's not our final destination. While I've never been to Buffalo, New York, and I'm sure that it's a nice place, it's not our final destination." Hanna said, grinning.

Emily's face dropped and she gave Hanna an eye roll. "Hanna you not telling me is totally not cool." Emily said as they printed their boarding passes and checked their luggage. The airport was pretty empty of people, being that it was only 4:15 AM and their flight left at 5:15 AM.

Hanna grabbed Emily's hand and dragged her towards the gate. They boarded the plane. The brunette yawned and gently snuggled her head into Hanna's shoulder as they took off, the sleepy city below them quickly disappearing.

* * *

Hanna twirled the keys of the rental car as her and Emily patiently waited for the baggage claim to produce their bags.

Hanna and Emily quietly made their way out to the rental car, Hanna carrying both the heavy suitcases and putting them into the back of the Mercedes she had rented. Emily couldn't help but notice Hanna's muscles in her thin shirt. They caused the shirt to fit snugly against her arms instead of hang loose. Hanna adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat, waiting for Emily to get in the car. Emily snapped back from her thoughts and slowly rounded the car.

"Hanna in a Mercedes? I would never think!" Emily teased as they got into the car.

"Oh give me a break. My mom ordered the car, not me. We both know I would have gone for an SUV, but with only two of us that is really uneconomical fuel wise." Hanna reasoned with Emily, pulling them out of the parking garage and onto the highway, headed north.

"I love it when you talk sophisticated to me." Emily said, taking a try at flirting.

_She wanted to see how Hanna would respond. Emily had run into Paige in the last week before school let out. Paige talked on and on about how Hanna was such a great person. Paige said that they didn't talk often, but that Hanna was the cutest flirt when they would hang out at the library during lunch. _

_ "A flirt?" Emily said, a silent anger building in her. "I think you might have that confused for nerves Paige. Seriously, Hanna is totally into guys."_

_ "Old Hanna was. This new Hanna flirts with me the whole lunch period. It's great, I think I might ask her on a date! She's just so lovely."_

_ "And to think she was head over heels for me two weeks ago. Hanna going on a date with Paige? Pft, like hell that will happen." Emily thought to herself as she said goodbye to Paige and walked away, annoyed that Hanna was "hitting" on Paige and even more annoyed- for reasons Emily couldn't figure out- that Hanna wasn't hitting on her._

"Sophisticated, huh?' Hanna said with a grin, giving Emily a sideways glance. "Alright, let's see," Hanna said as she leaned closer to Emily and intertwined their fingers. Emily looked on in awe as Hanna transformed into this total flirt who seemed to know all the right things to say. Emily was astounded.

"You do know where we are going, right?" Emily asked after a prolonged silence after she noticed Hanna had no GPS on or map anywhere in sight.

"Yeah, it's a pretty easy route." Hanna said, smiling over at Emily.

"Why do you always wear your glasses now?"

"Well you said you liked me in my glasses, so that's why I wear them." Hanna said, switching lanes.

"What?" Emily said as she looked out the window, taking in the landscape. "I can feel you looking at me."

"Nothing, just enjoying the view." Hanna said as she turned back to the road.

"The view meaning me, right?" Emily teased.

"Of course, that's what I was talking about." Hanna said as she bit her lip, suppressing a smile. "Why do you think I dragged you all the way out here with me? The views are picturesque, but with you they are complete." Hanna said, flashing Emily a small smile and then turning her head back to the road. Upon hearing the blonde's compliment Emily heart skipped a beat and her cheeks blushed.

* * *

"Hanna! It's gorgeous! This is absolutely amazing!" Emily said as they walked into their hotel room. The view of the quaint downtown area coupled with the large room complete with two beds and a gorgeous rain shower made Hanna happy she had picked this place to unwind. Hanna laid down on the bed and texted her mom, letting her know they had made it to the hotel safe. Hanna closed her eyes and exhaled, relaxing into the white fluffy mattress. Hanna began to doze off when she suddenly felt a presence beside her on the bed. The other girl had laid down next to her as well and was absentmindedly playing with Hanna's hair while looking though a magazine. Emily looked down at Hanna, realizing the blonde had fallen asleep with her glasses on. Emily carefully removed the glasses from her face and placed them on the table next to the bed, then began wrestling Hanna's coat off her as delicately as she could.

The sun was beginning to set as Hanna slowly woke, finding herself cuddled against a sleeping Emily. The TV was on mute and a magazine was thrown carelessly aside. Hanna couldn't help but smile. How lucky was she? She thought. How could someone as perfect as Emily care about her like she did. Hanna slowly brushed the hair away from Emily's eyes, and knew that as soon as they got back to Rosewood, things would change. They still had to figure out what Ali's problem was, and why she was constantly punishing Hanna and Emily, even though Spencer was convinced that it was out of jealousy.

The blonde sighed and got up, noticing the empty bed adjacent to hers.

"Why didn't Emily lay on that one?" Hanna said out loud to herself, clearly confused. She turned to look at the brunette, who was wide-awake and crawling towards her with a grin on her lips.

"The answer is simple dear," Emily said with a smile and hint of sarcasm; "I just can't resist you." Emily smiled and kissed Hana's cheek, then got off the bed.

_"When did she become such a flirt?" Hanna thought to herself as she watched Emily's face blush_.

"Where are you going?" Hanna said with a sly grin, watching Emily's figure retreat towards the closet

"Han, put your shoes on, I want to show you something."

Hanna obeyed and 5 minutes later they were standing under a tree in a grassy park, staring at the outline of Toronto against the setting sun. Emily silently took Hanna's hands and breathed into them- it was beginning to snow and they had forgotten their gloves at the hotel.

"It's perfect isn't it?" Hanna whispered in awe, staring at the city. The breeze picked up, sending a chill down their spines and causing them to huddle closer as they stared at the setting sun. Hanna slowly inhaled and exhaled, feeling the stress and worries leave her body.

"Yeah," Emily said as she looked at her friend, "it is."


	7. Chapter 7

"She's adorable." Hanna thought as she watched Emily play with the children in the park. It had stopped snowing as they walked back to the hotel from the water and Emily had pulled Hanna toward the park when she heard the sound of children playing. Emily ran ahead and laid in the snow, making snow angels. She soon attracted a group of children all curious as to what she was doing. 5 minutes later she was being chased by 7 year olds. Hanna sat on a bench and watched with a smile on her face.

"Kids are great aren't they?" someone said from beside Hanna, causing her to look up. A boy about Hanna's age was standing next to the bench, watching the children run and play.

"Yeah, they are," Hanna said with a smile.

"May I sit?"

"Yeah, totally." Hanna said, scooting over. "Is one of them yours?" Hanna motioned towards the kids. The boy pointed to a little blond boy who was playing in the snow. The boy explained that he was watching his brother while his mother went to the store.

"I'm Jordan." He said while sticking out his hand.

"Hanna," she responded.

"So what brings you here Hanna?" Jordan said with a smile.

"That one there," Hanna said pointing to Emily, "is mine. She loves kids and can't resist a game of tag." Hanna watched as Emily ran in the snow, her scarf trailing behind her. The blonde could hear her laugh from clear across the park. It was music to Hanna's ears; it instantly brought a smile to Hanna's face, no matter where she heard it.

"Is that your sister? You two don't look very similar." Jordan said, clearly confused.

"Um…no. Not my sister. My friend." Hanna said, keeping her eyes on Emily.

"Why would you bring your friend all the way here from the states? I can tell because of your accent." Jordan said slowly, gauging Hanna's reaction.

"Why are you asking all these questions?" Hanna asked, beginning to be annoyed by the boy's presence. Emily had noticed the boy that was sitting next to Hanna, and how they were talking. Or how he was trying to carry a conversation and Hanna was watching her. Emily ended the game of tag, waving bye to the children and walking towards Hanna. Emily got within earshot just in time to hear the boy's response.

"Because I am trying to figure out if you and your friend are down to get a bite to eat with me. I don't see your boyfriend anywhere so I figure he is back in the states. Besides, what he doesn't know can't hurt him, right." He said with a smile. Hanna was furious. She could feel the blood rushing to her face, the anger rising inside of her and threatening to boil over. Then she saw Emily walking towards her, clearly confused about why Hanna was so angry.

"No, sorry. We aren't interested." Hanna said, getting up and closing the distance between her and Emily. "Hey did you have fun? Are you hungry? We should go into town to see what restaurants there are!" Emily gave Hanna a confused look, looking from Hanna to the boy.

"Hi, I'm Jordan," the boy said, standing and holding out his hand. "I was just asking your friend here if I could treat you two ladies to dinner, I don't see any boyfriends in sight." He said with a wink.

"You were hitting on my friend, is that what you're telling me right now?!" Emily said with rage, her face flushing and her grip on Hanna tightening. "You sick perv! Get away from us!" Emily said, yelling. The parents around the park were beginning to notice, everyone staring at the boy. Emily grabbed Hanna's hand with one hand and her waist in the other, briskly walking them away from the situation. Hanna could smell Emily's perfume on her coat.

"Hanna, did he hurt you? Did he do anything to you? Because I will go back there and I swear I will kick his ass." Emily said, pulling them up short after they were in the middle of town and safely away.

Hanna wrapped Emily in a hug saying; "No, he didn't hurt me, it was just so abrupt. One minute we were talking about kids and the next he wanted to do things with me or us or whoever! I freaked out and then I saw you walking over to me and I just wanted to run." Hanna said, beginning to cry.

"Han, it's okay now, I've got you," Emily said, wrapping Hanna into a warm embrace, "no one is going to hurt you. I won't let them. I promise. Hey why don't we order a pizza and get it delivered to the room and eat there? We can just go back to the room and relax. Come on." Emily said taking Hanna's hand and leading them towards the hotel.

* * *

Two hours after getting back to the room, Emily and Hanna found themselves watching a movie. Emily began picking up the room, getting rid of the clutter their dinner had left. Hanna was laying in bed, watching Emily move around the room in silence. Suddenly, the lights in the room flickered and went out, leaving the girls in pitch-black darkness. Neither of them moved.

"Em, where are you?" Hanna said, slowly rising from the bed. "Where are my glasses?"

"I have them right here, just walk forward slowly, I've got you." Emily said, trying to find Hanna in the darkness.

"Em?"

"Here."

"Hi.

"Hey Han."

"What's going on?"

"I think the hotel lost power. We should go see if they have candles."

"No, the heat is still coming from the vent, it must be on a back-up generator."

"Han, I meant for light."

"Why do we need light? I can see you perfectly." Hanna said, leading Emily back to the bed, sitting down and pulling the brunette down with her. "Thank you for saving me today." Hanna whispered, stroking Emily's hair as she leaned against the blonde's chest.

"You don't need to thank me Hanna, honestly. I was happy to do it."

Hanna could feel her heart race faster as the silence stretched on. She could feel the words in her mouth; she could taste the confession of feelings she wanted to pour out for Emily. She became hyper aware of her surroundings; Emily's chest as it rose up and down, her fingers as they rested on Hanna's knee, her legs as they intertwined with Hanna's.

"Han?" Emily whispered, snapping Hanna out of her thoughts. "Did you like that boy? Before he said all those things? Would you have gone to dinner with him if I wasn't here?" Emily asked.

As much as it hurt her that Hanna felt threatened by someone else, she couldn't get Hanna's smile out of her head. The way Hanna watched Emily's every move as she ran around the park. Emily realized in that moment that she was slowly falling for her friend. Emily listened as Hanna's heart sped up and her breathing pattern switched. Emily knew she could never be Hanna's. The timing was wrong. She knew that in another universe far away they could be together. But unfortunately, it wasn't this universe in which that was possible. This infuriated Emily. Hanna was giving her all these signs that she could do nothing with. That just gave her false hope. Emily jumped up off the bed, causing Hanna to sit up with panic.

"Em, what's wrong! No no I didn't like him from the beginning." Hanna said with a dismissive wave of the hand, figuring that was what caused Emily to jump up. "Come back here, I'm cold and I want cuddles, you truly are the best-"

"Why were you flirting with Paige." Emily asked in a deadpan tone. "Do you like her? Why didn't you just bring her if you like her so much? Huh Hanna? Why didn't you just bring her. You like her so much. She told me Hanna," Emily said, her voice filling with rage and her eyes filling with tears. "She told me how you flirt with her. She wants to date you Hanna! She told me herself! Why didn't you just bring her?!" Emily screamed, pushing Hanna away from her, tears pouring down her now red face. Emily slowly backed away from Hanna, not giving Hanna any time to answer and continuing on; "Do you even know what was said that night? In front of my house? She said-"

"Emily! Stop!" Hanna said, trying to calm her friend down. "I don't like Paige Em." Hanna said calmly, letting that sink in. "Yes, I was flirting with Paige in the library. And I'm sorry. I didn't think she would take me seriously. Paige is a nice girl, and I will apologize for leading her on as soon as we get back to school. But she's not my type." Hanna said, slowly nearing Emily.

**Hanna's POV:**

You know how they say it all comes back in flashes? The true cliché about memories- things coming back slowly in pieces. At that moment, with Emily screaming her head off at me, I zoned out and remembered a truly unique memory. During the last week of exams, long after everyone had left, I went into the yearbook lab. I remembered Emily saying something about how we were in the yearbook lab the day of the accident. I picked around my station and found a stack of pictures of just myself and Emily hidden beneath a stack of papers. I began flicking though the pictures, smiling at the memories that I didn't remember. Towards the bottom of the stack I found a few pictures that were more recent- after the accident. There was a picture of us at the mall that first day. A picture of Spencer and me as we studied in the library. The last one was my favorite though. It was a candid picture of Emily and I as we walked down the halls. Emily was laughing and I was smiling at her. The way I smiled at her- I smiled at her like she alone could save the world, like she hung the moon. I couldn't imagine where these pictures came from or who took them, but someone had added them to my stack. I was also confused as to why my past self had this whole stack. But in that moment, with Emily crying and screaming at me I remembered. It hit me with the same force the car did on that fall day. It sent my head spinning. I staggered towards the coat closet, wrestling a coat from the hanger. I slipped on my shoes and flew out of the room, throwing a scarf around my neck as I began to run towards the shore. I knew the feelings had come from somewhere. I knew that after the accident I had always felt something for Emily. But what about before the accident? Did I just forget about that whole length of time prior to the life changing collision of two cars? Did I forget about the girl I had been before the crash, writing her off as someone that didn't matter?

Yes. I had.

But then I remembered everything. The way the sight of Emily's smile in the car 2 minutes before the crash made me feel like I was flying. The way I grabbed her hand with such optimism, but knowing I would never be able to confess my feelings. The way I felt about Paige when she blatantly hit on Emily in front of me. The way I hid that stack of pictures under the papers so Emily wouldn't see. The way my heart skipped a beat when she put her hands on my waist, guiding me out of the yearbook room.

The feelings from before crashed over me like a tsunami, consuming me and throwing me from land, dragging me towards the sea. I realized that this wasn't some kid crush I was experiencing, some phase that I would pass though.

I got to the railing her and I stood at 6 hours ago and looked out at the city skyline, blurring slightly due to my tears and lack of glasses. I was out of breath, my chest heaving, trying to get air. But the combination of the run and the emotions had robbed me of breath and stolen my air. The cold air stung my lungs, punishing me for forgetting about who I once was.

I loved her before. I love her now. I will always love her.

* * *

**That was just a tad dramatic. **

**Thanks for the favorites, follows, and reviews! **

**You guys are great! -PSD xxx**


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